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Some of you have been with me since the beginning of this blog journey. And a few of you have requested the reprint of the Christmas Stocking again this year. Thank you for that. So for my old friends who have read it, enjoyed it and want to read it again, and the new ones who have not read this story, welcome. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. Christmas stories seem to resonate with everyone, tales of joy and hope, stories of fun and disaster, of love and tradition, of love found, and love lost. I hope this one resonates with you.

Every family has traditions. Things that are done the same way, year after year. Things that are counted on. Traditions provide a foundation and a feeling of coming home. Of safety. And happiness.  Of continuity. Maybe it’s the way the mantel is decorated. Or the ornaments remain the same each year. Or it’s the cookies that Grandma always made, still being made long after Grandma is gone. Or perhaps it’s lasagna for Christmas dinner. But what if a Tradition doesn’t “fit” anymore? Becomes too expensive, too “big” or too difficult? Is it OK to change a tradition?

In my case, our tradition was Christmas Stockings. I was a single mother. I didn’t always have enough money to buy a tree. I sometimes put red ribbon bows and candy canes on a Ficus and called it “Our Charley Brown” tree.  But the one thing I had without fail was Christmas stockings. Mine rarely had anything in it. It was more for show. But I always made sure my son’s was stuffed with fun things. Matchbox cars when he was young. Bubbles. New crayons. And a new ornament. (which remains a tradition).  As I’m sure all kids do, he begged to open his gifts on Christmas Eve. He was filled with excitement, his eyes big at the sight of boxes wrapped and piled under the tree. He almost vibrated with expectation. I had a rule, no gift opening til Christmas morning. Despite the groans and moans and the, “Please, Mommie?” I stuck to that rule. Except. (You knew there was going to be an “except”, didn’t you??) OK, ONE gift on Christmas Eve and we’d get our Christmas stockings to see what was in them. He was well past the age of believing in Santa so there was no fake story about the fat one coming early. Those stockings became our “thing.” I put a lot of time and energy and money in being creative as he got older. The gifts became more elaborate and more expensive. Gift cards to favorite restaurants or to the zoo or some outing to do together. Always a new ornament. And candy. And then the teen years hit. So there was after shave and young man things. I think he loved digging in the stocking more than anything else about Christmas.

Enter a marriage and instant siblings. The stocking tradition continued well into adulthood. I was rapidly spending the bulk of our Christmas budget stuffing those stockings. So one year,  I decided to go another route. This was the year the whole family was going to be together. All the siblings. My husband was home (He frequently traveled on holidays), the Grandchildren were here. It was a perfect time to introduce a new tradition. I made gift bags. BAGS. I thought I was being clever. I could put larger gifts inside, the bags held more. Brilliant.  Not so fast, Christmas Mom.

My son walked into the family room and saw no stockings hung by the chimney with care. In fact there were no stockings to be seen! He promptly grabbed my attention by quietly bellowing, “WHERE ARE THE STOCKINGS????” “WE DON’T HAVE STOCKINGS??” I saw him looking frantically around the room, searching for his stocking. By this time, the rest of the group became restless and I could hear murmurings……“Did Mom forget the stockings?” “Is Mom OK?” “What’s going on?” You know, concerned that I’d had some sort of mental lapse. Which, as it turns out I did. What was I thinking?  I explained that this year I didn’t do stockings, I did gift bags!!! Woot!  There were no return Woots. My son, drew himself up to his full height, and announced to no one in particular, “This is unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE”. (In case I didn’t hear him the first time.)  “What do you mean, gift bags?? GIFT BAGS??“ And he stomped off. OK, maybe not stomped exactly. But very firmly put one very large  foot in front of the other and left the room. Dead silence. I stood for a few seconds, in a mental hamster-on-a-wheel moment, searching my brain for a solution to this calamity. Did I have time to get the stockings from the attic, stuff them, bring them out later, and yell, “SURPRISE! ONLY KIDDING, HERE ARE YOUR STUPID STOCKINGS!” Nope, not happening.

I honestly didn’t consider his reaction. I should have known. We’d moved around quite a bit when he was young and he hung on to things that were familiar. I suddenly realized the stocking meant more than just stuff for fun, it was one of his few remaining touchstones, a symbol that while everything else in his life had changed, this one thing, his Christmas stocking remained. We went on with Christmas that day, it was filled with fun and great food, music, the kids tussling, me yelling, “Take it outside!” and “Don’t slam the door!”  The Grandkids overwhelmed with gifts and too many cookies, protesting the taking of pictures, hanging out with their beloved Aunts and Uncles and the rest of us.

It was a great, big, typical, noisy, messy holiday. And I loved it. I was the subject of affectionate scorn from every.single.member.of.my.family. In good fun, and it would become another family joke, told the next year and the year after that. My son, that sweet, goofy, big-hearted prankster, never let me forget. He continued to shoot me the stink eye all day, (accompanied by his grin, but the stink eye nonetheless), and I could hear him muttering in my direction all weekend long. I couldn’t hear all of it, but I caught enough of, “Unacceptable, and “For petes sake” and there was the odd eye roll. (Learned from his Bonus Dad). Whatever. I got it. I got it already! Stockings were hung by the chimney with care every year after that. Stuffed to the tops, overflowing. Bonus. There were also gift bags for the things that were too large for the stockings.

My son was killed in an accident three years after that Christmas. I don’t do stockings anymore. Except his. His stocking is hung every year. His last, and favorite Hallmark ornament, a Mustang, hangs from it. A little stuffed reindeer we got from McDonalds during his teen years is in it. It now hangs on the door to the room he stayed in whenever he came home. That stocking means more now than ever. It doesn’t hold gifts anymore, it holds memories. Years of memories. It is overflowing.

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   For many Americans Memorial Day is a three day weekend designed for parties, backyard BBQ’s, boating, swimming and fun signalling the start of summer. And since many states, including my Florida have relaxed the pandemic stay-at-home orders, I wanted to re-post this. This year, just as all the years in the past I take time to honor those who never came home by celebrating Memorial Day. But what is Memorial Day really? How did it start?

While there is some debate over where it officially began, Memorial Day started as “Decoration Day.” Toward the end of the Civil War in the South, women began placing flowers on the graves of fallen Confederate soldiers. The practice spread by word of mouth, and by the end of the war women from both sides of this horrific conflict placed flowers on the graves of the men and women who never came home.  In 1863 The Gettysburg Cemetery was dedicated to honor both sides and the laying of flowers became an unofficial way to honor those who fell in battle. And Decoration Day began a long tradition of honoring active duty military killed wile serving.

After President Lincoln was assassinated in April of 1865, more ceremonies were held across the nation to honor the fallen and a movement began. The sheer number of deaths in the Civil War, over 600,000 meant that ceremonies took place all across our nation and gained more importance. Boalsburg, PA claims the title as the “Birthplace of Decoration Day in 1864,”   but the first organized and publicized event was held in May, 1865 in Charleston, SC.

MORE FUN FACTS

General John Logan of the Union Army declared Decoration Day to be held on May 30th each year because it was the time of year when most flowers would be in bloom across the country. Although Decoration Day began as a way to honor the Civil War soldiers, by the end of WWII it expanded to include all men and women in all branches of service who died while on active duty.

The Boys Scouts of America began placing Flags on each one of the 150,000 graves in the Jefferson National Barracks in St Louis, MO. That idea also spread and since the 1950’s Flags are placed on each grave at Arlington by volunteers. Each sitting President places a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. And all National Cemeteries offer solemn, dignified ceremonies while volunteers place Flags on graves on both Memorial Day and Veterans Day. If you’ve never been to a National Cemetery I highly recommend it. You will come away with a thankful, grateful heart  for the sacrifices these men and women made.

The title, “Memorial Day” became official in 1968 but it wasn’t until 1971 the law was enacted to have it celebrated on the last Monday in May, giving Americans a 3 day holiday.

All American Flags are supposed to be flown at Half-staff until noon on Memorial Day, but this is a tradition, not a law.

Because so many lost sight of the real meaning behind Memorial Day, in the year 2000 a law was enacted titled; The National Moment of Remembrance Act. At 3:00 p.m. local time each person is to stop for a moment of silence to honor all those who died while on active duty.  I can’t help but wonder how many americans actually do this.

I still remember the importance this day had, and still has for our family. My Grandmother and Aunts would make a special trip to the cemetery to lay flowers to honor my Uncle Gene, who died in WWII. His loss still defines how I see this important, but almost forgotten holiday. I share his photo and also the photo of the name of one of my friends inscribed on the Viet Nam War Memorial Wall. I hope you will take a moment this year, to pay homage to those who were brave enough to wear a uniform to serve this nation…..and who made the ultimate sacrifice.

I know I will.

REMEMBERING THE SACRIFICE OF

EUGENE LOWE

WAYNE DECKER

DOUG ARMSTRONG

RICHARD WISEMAN

AND TO ALL THE OTHER MEN AND WOMEN WHO PAID THE PRICE AND GRANTED US THE FREEDOM TO CELEBRATE THIS WEEKEND.

“NO GREATER LOVE HATH A MAN THAN THIS, THAT A MAN  LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS”

Hi my Friends,

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, but got distracted and never hit “publish.” Sadly, it’s still appropriate…..

I hope you are home safe and healthy. Our lives have been uprooted, what used to be our normal way of life is no more. But the world keeps turning, the sun rises and sets each day, and there is still beauty to be found, there is still hope. I know many are struggling with the loss of loved ones, lost jobs and loss of enthusiasm. For that I am truly sorry. I wish I could make this all go away, restore everything to before Covid….But that’s not the case. And while I’m thankful that we are good here in the sanctuary, I’m also keenly aware that we are lucky, our lives have not been totally upended by the “Stay at Home” orders and we have not lost our home, nor income. We are blessed to be in the financial condition we’re in and will be donating our stimulus checks to local charities when they arrive. Boredom has not hit us as yet but I know many are getting a severe case of cabin fever, have high anxiety levels and some are dealing with the whole home school thing while also trying to work from home. That’s a lot. Before you begin pulling out your hair, or if your house has been deep cleaned so many times you’re now down to the studs, I’m offering a few suggestions.

Here’s my List of 20 Things You Can Do to Maintain Your Sanity

Yes, I know you’ve heard PLENTY of suggestions, many of the following you may have already tried and mastered, but maybe there will be a nugget in mine that will spark an idea…. so here goes:

1. Learn a  new language or brush up on your high school spanish or french…. take a class in a subject you’re interested in, check with your area universities to see what’s being offered, or just take one of the free classes available on-line.

2. Learn to crochet or knit. Or embroidery. Embroidery is making a comeback. (yes, it’s true). There are  many YouTube videos and tutorials on-line. Miss Mustard Seed has a beginners class for knitting, or maybe it’s crochet, I don’t know…. it’s something with yarn. Google her. (Clearly I am not taking this part of my own advice.)

3. Take a sewing class.  Learn to make your own masks, then give them to friends and donate the rest to charities , some of our local organizations for the homeless have a need for masks, as well as health care professionals who are wearing homemade masks over the 95’s to make them last longer. Google is your friend for information ….  There are tons of mask making tutorials on-line. You can order supplies as well. (My neighbor did this and I can’t begin to say how touched I was to receive two of her masks for me and my Mr B.)

4. Improve your photography skills with free on-line classes…. ( or paid) everyone’s skill level is different, so just search  until you find one that suits you.

5. Cooking classes. There are hundreds. (I will not be watching them. Because. Kitchen. And cooking. ugh).

6. Learn floral arranging (Because beauty! and you can be the host/hostess with the mostest for weddings and parties and stuff…. after the pandemic).

7. Deep clean each room of your home (in progress, for the second time, apparently I’m a glutton for punishment). And then do the outside, Spring Cleaning! yes!

8. Read. Rediscover your love of reading. (or develop a love for it. You can travel anywhere without leaving your comfiest chair.)  I’ve read 15 books in 6 weeks, (edited, now 20 in 7 weeks) plus reread 3 old favorites. My love of  reading began in elementary school, and I’ve never strayed. For me, reading is fundamental. I’m sharing some of my books with my neighbor, who is rediscovering her joy of reading. (Sanitized and left on her porch #notspreadingmycooties)

9. Sort, label and organize your boxes of photos, your children will benefit from this someday. I’m doing this. It’s a work in progress,  and slow because I have literally HUNDREDS of photos I took, plus those of my Grandmother, Great Grandmother and Mom who did not get the memo about noting who is in the freakin picture.  I loosely organized, but need to do a more detailed organization and put some albums together. I’m really looking forward to that. (I LIE)

10. Join Ancestry and join millions of others who are searching their roots. I found it to be addicting, and have thoroughly enjoyed spending the time learning about my family history.  I now have binders of records and photos and copies of military records, marital records, census records and pictures of cemeteries and headstones. (And now have more piles of papers and notebooks and crap to organize.  Mr B said I enjoy living in chaos. And that I love piles. of. things. And the word hoarding may have been said.)

11. Plant a butterfly/bee/bird garden. Almost everywhere is experiencing spring now, and being outside digging in the dirt is so therapeutic. Do some research on your planting zone and native plants for your area. Use both nectar and larval host plants, plant shrubs for shelter for birds and put a birdbath out, making sure to clean it weekly. Add a bird feeder and use a seed or seed mixture that will attract your native birds. Suddenly your yard will burst with life and song and will be a haven for both you and the critters to visit.  No yard?  Even a balcony  can become a haven for butterflies and bees, you don’t need a large yard, just the right plants.

12. Join a Facebook group that supports your favorite hobby or interest. Make new on-line pals.There’s a group for every interest. Not kidding.

13. Walk or go bike riding. Get fresh air, it clears the mind and restores the soul. Maintain your social distancing. Dance like no one is watching, because no one is. (unless it’s your kids, then ask them to join your for a dance off and sing along party.)

14. Listen to a new genre of music you thought you didn’t like. You might be surprised.

15. Foster a pet. Many shelters are in need of both supplies and foster parents. You can save a life. And maybe save your sanity. Pets help us in so many ways and fostering means you get all those benefits without the long term commitment that pet ownership requires. You’ll also be helping that animal become a better candidate for its future forever home.

16. Purge, clean and organize your collections. Keep only what you love. Put the rest somewhere safe until this is over and you can make a trip to the donation center. Or just do the drive-up drop-off thing. Check with your thrift store to see if it’s open and accepting drop-offs.

17. Rearrange your furniture. Shop your home, move things around and use those newly purged, clean collections in new ways. Instant refresh!

18. Paint a room. Or more. Lowes, Home Depot, and other hardware stores are considered essential businesses, so don your mask, maintain your distance and pick up a gallon of paint.

19. Redo a piece of furniture. Have something that needs an update? Now’s the perfect time. (this is an on-going state of affairs here. There’s always something that needs an update. But don’t ask Mr B’s opinion, he thinks everything is OK just the way it is… I wish I could insert an emoji here).

20. And finally, you can binge Netflix and/or Amazon or Hulu or whatever streaming company you have. Find a new series, or two or three, I recommend Ozark, The Last Kingdom and Outlander. Or Tiger King, if only to confirm that you are not nuts. And that wild animals deserve to be left…. well…. wild and …. free…. and protected. Just sayin.

And because I’m very generous, here’s a bonus idea: Did you know you can tour some of the world’s most famous museums?? Yep, check out Google’s Arts and Leisure collections, there are many of the world’s best museums offering virtual tours

That’s all I have. Pretty sure most of you have contemplated some, if not all of these. But I needed to write something because organizing those photos is more than I can handle today. Maybe there’s something you hadn’t thought about doing. If so, I’ve justified my existence. You can thank me later. I didn’t include links on purpose, there are so many on-line activities, classes and tutorials, I’m not kidding when I say Google is your best friend right now. Use him wisely.

Be safe. Be smart. And Stay healthy. The world is still beautiful. This will pass and we will come together stronger than ever and better prepared for the future.

Hi everyone! I hope the beginning of 2020 has been good to you. This is my first post of the new decade! It’s been awhile, with a busy and eventful 2019, and problems with the blog that I hope to have corrected soon. I’ll catch you up on a year in review post a bit later, I just wanted to pop in and see if I could get a post up and remind y’all …. I’M STILL HERE!!! A bit battered and worn, but still here.

The Word of the Year.… A lot of the people I know choose a word as a guide for each new year, it’s so much easier than making resolutions, which most of us kick to the curb before the ink is dry. A word allows you to bring about change, but in an unstructured way. Last year my Word was Appreciate. I put it on my letter board that’s hanging by the door in my laundry/utility room so that I see it each time I walk in. It was a good word. It reminded me to be grateful for the small things in my life, to take time to think about the things I have now…. not the things I want in the future. It was a daily reminder that I have enough, more than enough actually and that I am fortunate.

Geez, I had a tough time choosing this year’s Word,  (capitalizing it makes it seem important!)  I stumbled a bit at first, wanting to choose something BIG for the start of a new decade, it had to be epic, right? Nothing had the impact I was searching for …. and for a bit I thought this would be the year without a Word. Eek. I’d be without a guide, rudderless, no resolutions and no Word!!!

I gave myself a head slap and once I cleared the cobwebs, I realized that 2020 may indeed be the beginning of a new decade, but it’s also another year and not to get ahead of myself.  I went online and searched for Word of the Year lists and ideas…. still nothing, so I just put all thoughts of choosing one word aside. I knew it would come to me in its own time and while out running errands last week the word, MINDFUL popped into my head and I had my Word.

Mindful…. Adjective … Conscious, or aware of something. Focusing one’s awareness on the present moment.  Attentive, observant, thoughtful, to do things with intention.  I can be scatterbrained, and do things without thinking…. jumping into projects without a plan, or deciding I want something without paying attention. It can lead to buyer’s remorse, projects half finished, or a monumental list of wants. So being mindful will help me in the same way Intentional did in 2018. That word changed me in a big way, so I think Mindful will keep me on the path I began with Intentional.

So, Happy 2020! I hope it will be your best year ever! Have you chosen your Word yet?  Send me a message and let me know. You can leave it on my Facebook page, My Suburban Sanctuary or DM me on Instagram. Or leave a message here on the blog, I read  and answer each comment. I’m so grateful for you and happy you’ve stuck with me. And if you follow me on Instagram, you know my favorite way to end my posts is to remind everyone, whatever day of the week it is, that it’s the only one you get in the week, be it Monday, Thursday, Saturday… whatever day it is, there is only ONE in a week. It’s your day to make a difference. Spread kindness. The world really doesn’t need more cowbell, but is surely does need kindness. So be kind. And thank you for being patient while this blog thing gets sorted out. I’ve been working to fix the issues. We’ll see. In the meantime, if you see weird stuff (I mean besides my usual weird stuff) on my page, just disregard. I’m determined to fix the issues. I’m mindful of the problems. Holy cow!  My word is working already!

In the meantime, create your sanctuary wherever you live. Don’t wait for someday. Love the home you’re in.